5 Secrets to a Happy and Lasting Marriage

Today we celebrate our 34th wedding anniversary, and I couldn’t be happier to celebrate another year with my husband, Mark. While our relationship isn’t perfect (whose is?), We are still very much in love. So, I thought I’d share a few reflections on what’s helped us build a happy and fulfilling partnership over the years.

1. Accept Each Other’s Imperfections – No One Is Perfect (Including YOU!)

When we fall in love, we embrace the whole person—their quirks, their strengths, and yes, even their flaws. The goal of a relationship isn’t to mould your partner into your idea of perfection but to let them be their true self and love them for it.

• Think about it—do you appreciate being told how you should act or be? Probably not.

• Disagreements are normal and even healthy; the key is to move on and not hold grudges.

Side note: Try not to go to bed angry. It’s better to resolve issues before the day ends—peaceful sleep makes a difference!

2. Appreciate Each Other More Than Your Expectations

34 years of “ what are we having for dinner?” 

This one isn’t always easy, but it’s transformative. We all have expectations of what our partner “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing.

Instead of focusing on what’s missing, shift your attention to what they are doing. You might discover a newfound appreciation for their efforts, big or small.

3. Do Things Together, But Also Apart

Shared experiences strengthen your bond, but individuality keeps things fresh and exciting.

• Find activities you enjoy as a couple. Whether it’s exercising, movie nights (we’re big Sci-Fi fans!), or shared hobbies like walking or bike riding, these moments create connection.

• On the flip side, encourage each other to have personal interests and self-care rituals. Independence fuels growth, and growth makes a relationship thrive.

We’ve found that balance works for us—Mark and I motivate each other to exercise, but we’re also guilty of enabling the occasional lazy day. And that’s okay too! 😊

4. Value Family Above All Else

For us, family is everything. Our marriage is the foundation for the beautiful, independent children we’re so proud of. Supporting them and spending time together as a family brings us immense joy and strengthens our bond as a couple.

5. Intimacy Is More About Affection and Connection than Sex

Intimacy is about closeness and affection. Find ways to connect daily:

• Hold hands.

• Always kiss hello, goodbye, and goodnight (we love the “5-second kiss” rule).

• Share hugs and cuddles.

• Don’t shy away from showing affection in public—let the world see your love!

As the honeymoon phase fades, affection and emotional connection become even more important than what happens in the bedroom.

These are just a few of the things that have contributed to our happy marriage.

Mark and I focus on what’s great about our time together, not on the little arguments or frustrations. Of course, we do get annoyed with each other sometimes—it’s part of life! But the trick is to let it go and focus on the bigger picture.

If you’re looking for encouragement or ideas on how to strengthen your own relationship, I’d love to help. Let’s chat—book a discovery call, and let’s make your relationship the best it can be.

Here’s to love, connection, and many happy years ahead!